Finally decided - Applying for No Pay Leave

Sorry for the long lapse.  It has been a whirlwind week for me, but at least there is sunshine after the storm.  My hubby was suddenly offered an overseas posting.  We had to battle intensely what was in for us and how this would fit into our plans.  In the meantime, workload was getting very heavy and I was totally emboiled in it.

A few things made me realise the way forward.  I really need to get away from work.  I really love my work, I do.  Sometimes I do drag my feet to work, but I feel it is a meaningful job and I always end up giving it my 120%.  But I am starting to see that it is at the expense of my health.  How do I know?  My hubby berated me on 3 incidents in the last 3 weeks:

1. Week 1 - Went back to work despite a lot of objections
   Doc informed that it was a failed pregnancy and would give me MC to manage my emotions and get over the heavy period flow.  I decided to go back to work (against the advice of a lot of people) and did a straight 14-hour shift cos I know manpower was needed in the office.  
2. Week 2 - Mind and body subconsciously and totally overwhelmed by work
   Received an urgent assignment on Friday night, with a deadline on Saturday evening.  I planned out the workflow til 1am and intended to wake up at 9am the next day.  Instead, I automatically jumped out of bed at 7am.  My body just couldn't sleep - it was subconsciously and totally overwhelmed by work.  And honestly, I am the kind of creature who sleeps til mid-afternoon on weekends.
3. Week 3 - Chose work over my health
   TCM doc instructed mini-confinement rules which involved taking extra care of my health.  It was pouring one morning and my cardigan, dress and hair were wet/damp by the time I reached the MRT.  My body will ache very very badly as long as I let my hair dry normally on my shoulders. I knew it was a killer for me to get into the air-con train with damp clothes/hair.  I knew that I really should go home, get a warm bath and dry myself.  But my colleagues and I were needed in a meeting and I decided not to let them down.  As expected, my body ached like hell that night and I had to see my TCM doc the next day.  It wasn't the aches that mattered.  Instead, what made my heart sank was hearing from the TCM doc that my body had weakened. 

My hubby made it clear to me.  You can never detach yourself from work.  This is you and your sense of responsibility.  It is not easy since you are used to giving your all at work.  With that in mind, you will never be able to prioritise family planning as #1 and allow yourself to be just an average performer.  It was the 2nd time that he spoke seriously to me on this and reiterated his commitment to tighten his belt and support me financially. 

The overseas posting offered was not what we had in mind and the opportunity cost didn't justify the move.  But he was seriously considering to accept the overseas posting just so that I could get away from my work.  It finally dawned on me that he was right - so we are staying put and I am going to make an appeal for no pay leave.  Not an easy decision, lots of internal battling and turmoil - but hope that everything will pan out well eventually.