Still waiting for my morning sickness symptoms to disappear but it is still hanging around. It is definitely not so serious but it ranges from nausea, giddiness, cramps etc.
Actually the abdominal pains are a little more worrying. I can't tell if it is cramps or bladder aching, constipation or gas pains. At times, it is pulling sensation with every step I take. Other times, it is a poking pain when I shift my posture. Just hope it gets better.
A few nights ago, I couldn't get to sleep and suddenly a lot of thoughts came to my mind. Obviously, these are troubling thoughts and I had a secret crying episode. I guess this is what it means to have your hormones going on an overdrive.
I wondered about my future with my hubby and beanie and it didn't feel good. Hubby seems to be reminding me that he is not interested in being a dad; his exact words are that he is a sperm donor. If it continues, I fear that this would be the end of our family unit cos it is hard for just one person to be holding the fort. I know he is a guy who values his personal space - just focus on his work, end the week with parties and drinking sessions and spend the weekend playing his games.
I can only pray for wisdom, guidance and peace in our marriage. Perhaps we were too hasty or wrong to have a beanie. Perhaps we really don't have what it takes to be a good parent. Or perhaps I am over-worrying and things will work out naturally. But it is tiring to feel so insecure.
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