I had my first vagina scan on last Wed. Because of the nausea, I didn't prepare myself emotionally and mentally for the scan results. In my mind, I had always hoped for twins because I feel it will resolve my dilemma. It is my secret wish and I didn't prepare myself for the fact that it would be a single baby.
My beanie is fine and we saw the flickering heartbeat. But I was distracted and disappointed that it wasn't twins. My whole mind was about the fact that I do not have a solution to my dilemma. What I dread would have to come. That evening, my whole liner was soaked in strawberry juice. But thankfully it was just chocolate juices when I wiped.
The next morning, I was still troubled by the inevitable that would ensue. I cried non-stop, weeping uncontrollably. My mom comforted me. My best friends comforted me but I just couldn't stop crying That night, I saw strawberry juice on the toilet paper. I layed still the whole night, trying my best not to move.
I finally told my hubby in the morning that I cannot handle the dilemma anymore. Perhaps it is best for me to wash my hands out of it. I really cannot bear to think about or act on the dilemma. It just worsens my cramps. All I need to do is to try my best to be a happy mother-to-be because that is the best for beanie. I made my way to KKH 24hr clinic just to make sure that all is ok. The vaginal scan showed that beanie is growing and heartbeat is fine. This time, I was happy to see beanie and the heartbeat.
But it is still hard to keep sad thoughts out of my mind. The dilemma still troubles me because I know it is still there. I make a conscious effort not to think about it. But it decided to appear in my dreams. Once again in the morning, there was a clot of strawberry jam.
I have been on bed rest for the last few days. It took me so many days before I could bring myself to type this post. The bleeding could be caused by my emotional state and/or the vagina scan. Who knows... But I am trying my best to not think about the inevitable because it worsens my cramps. And cramps usually leads to bleeding. But I really don't know how I would be able to get over the trying times if and when it really comes.
And I also wanted to say sorry to God and my beanie, for being so mean and cruel to them. Instead of being thankful for the gift and being happy to see my beanie, I was distracted by my own thoughts and pain. I hope that they would forgive me and give me strength to face my dilemma ahead. Amen.
Monday, 31 March 2014
Wednesday, 26 March 2014
6weeks: Waiting for first scan
4 more hours to the first scan! Am I excited about it? Honestly, can't feel excited about it. I think I am totally battered by the symptoms. The feeling of nausea had been particularly bad these few days. Small meals doesn't help. Ginger doesn't help. Orange peel or sweets don't help. Just trying my best to live with it. Hopefully it goes away soon.
The rest of the symptoms are still there - heart-thumping feeling, bloating, backache, no appetite, frequent peeing, cramping, breathlessness, gastric, spotting etc. Sometimes it really gets me down and I am trying my best to be remain positive about being pregnant. I am really hoping that the scan today will give me and my beanies some encouragement.
Symptoms or no symptoms better? I think it is between the devil and the deep blue sea. I belong to those who have symptoms, and possibly getting the bad end of it. It can really break your positivity and there is no way to make me feel better. Yes, I keep telling myself that these are good signs cos beanies are growing. But it doesn't make me feel better. These signs don't guarantee that there is a heartbeat in there. They don't guarantee that the heartbeat will continue to be strong. They don't guarantee anything.
For those who have no symptoms, they have a separate set of worries. Constantly their thoughts are on their beanies and how they are doing. Whether if it is physical discomfort or emotional torture, the first trimester is not an enjoyable period for mothers-to-be. It is just as bad as the 2ww, but over an extended period.
So once again, I think all mommies and mommies-wannabes are super warriors, having to brave this long and trying period. I really hope more mommies-wannabes will graduate and have their BFPs. I also hope that all mommies-to-bes will have a good and smooth pregnancy. Amen!
The rest of the symptoms are still there - heart-thumping feeling, bloating, backache, no appetite, frequent peeing, cramping, breathlessness, gastric, spotting etc. Sometimes it really gets me down and I am trying my best to be remain positive about being pregnant. I am really hoping that the scan today will give me and my beanies some encouragement.
Symptoms or no symptoms better? I think it is between the devil and the deep blue sea. I belong to those who have symptoms, and possibly getting the bad end of it. It can really break your positivity and there is no way to make me feel better. Yes, I keep telling myself that these are good signs cos beanies are growing. But it doesn't make me feel better. These signs don't guarantee that there is a heartbeat in there. They don't guarantee that the heartbeat will continue to be strong. They don't guarantee anything.
For those who have no symptoms, they have a separate set of worries. Constantly their thoughts are on their beanies and how they are doing. Whether if it is physical discomfort or emotional torture, the first trimester is not an enjoyable period for mothers-to-be. It is just as bad as the 2ww, but over an extended period.
So once again, I think all mommies and mommies-wannabes are super warriors, having to brave this long and trying period. I really hope more mommies-wannabes will graduate and have their BFPs. I also hope that all mommies-to-bes will have a good and smooth pregnancy. Amen!
Sunday, 23 March 2014
5weeks: More Symptoms and my TCM doc's diagnosis
I couldn't stop complaining about my side effects to my TCM doc cos it is really uncomfortable. Gastric pangs are common occurrences, kicking in once every 2-3 days.
Bloating is another nemesis. Losing my appetite, causing me nausea and sometimes making me lose my sleep. Cramps are still there and my doc says it is not good to have cramps. But they keep coming and seems to be quite frequent of late. Backaches also seemed particularly bad during the night.
Well, unfortunately my TCM doc says she can't give me medicine to help me expel the gas, but will try to give something for the indigestion. The main bulk of the medicine is still to stabilise the pregnancy, rather than help with the symptoms.
At least there is some mini good news. Doc says the pulse seems better than last week but it is not a perfect pulse yet. Just passably ok. So, I must continue resting more in bed and not walk unnecessary. I am not allowed to even take a stroll around my block.
After the visit to the TCM, another symptom started to appear. It feels like an irregular heartbeat, as if it skips a beat and makes up for it by having a extra hard heartbeat. Feels almost like your heart dropped and came back into position. I am going to see my TCM doc in 2 days so I am gonna ask her about it.
The first scan is gonna be in 3 days, really hope to see the flickering heartbeat on the screen. At least our fears to rest...
Bloating is another nemesis. Losing my appetite, causing me nausea and sometimes making me lose my sleep. Cramps are still there and my doc says it is not good to have cramps. But they keep coming and seems to be quite frequent of late. Backaches also seemed particularly bad during the night.
Well, unfortunately my TCM doc says she can't give me medicine to help me expel the gas, but will try to give something for the indigestion. The main bulk of the medicine is still to stabilise the pregnancy, rather than help with the symptoms.
At least there is some mini good news. Doc says the pulse seems better than last week but it is not a perfect pulse yet. Just passably ok. So, I must continue resting more in bed and not walk unnecessary. I am not allowed to even take a stroll around my block.
After the visit to the TCM, another symptom started to appear. It feels like an irregular heartbeat, as if it skips a beat and makes up for it by having a extra hard heartbeat. Feels almost like your heart dropped and came back into position. I am going to see my TCM doc in 2 days so I am gonna ask her about it.
The first scan is gonna be in 3 days, really hope to see the flickering heartbeat on the screen. At least our fears to rest...
Monday, 17 March 2014
4weeks: Symptoms of early pregnany
I don't really know how to date the pregnancy yet, but I read in forums that the day of the blood test is considered as 4 weeks preggies. The preggie symptoms seem to have intensified, and I was hoping for more relaxed days.
My plan for the symptoms - going to visit my TCM doc as usual. Hopefully she can have some remedy for it. Else I will wait til my first scan and doctor's visit on 26 Mar for more advice.
- Burping - started on 10 Mar, which is about a week ago. Would suddenly have to get up from my sleep just to burp and then go back to sleep.
- Frequent peeing - also started on 10 Mar. I just kept wanting to pee even though there isn't much to pee. Now I pee like twice in an hour in the day and wake up about 2-4 times in the night.
- A little breathless - Seems to happen in the bathroom after a bath. Just feels very stuffy and breathless.
- Bloating - started about 15 Mar. It was clear that I was bloated when I couldn't wear my shorts once again. You can see the pictures below for comparison. The left photo was taken on 2 days back while the right photo was taken after all OHSS symptoms were gone. But the bloating is not as bad as the OHSS experience.
- Nausea - also started about 15 Mar. Possibly caused by the bloating. The bloated tummy was just uncomfortably. At times, I just couldn't sleep cos the tummy was in the way.
- Loss in appetite - Possibly another side effect from the bloating. Couldn't squeeze in much food. Had to nibble every hour. It took me 3 hours to finish a tub of KFC mashed potato. I ate not because I am hungry, but more of a self-assurance cos it is weird not be eating so little.
- Gastric attack - Possibly because of the drop in appetite. I had my 1st gastric attack on 16 Mar at 5am. Quickly ate half a slice of bread and drank gaviscon. Had to sleep sitting up and finally the gastric subsided. Coincidentally, gaviscon also reduced the bloating and I finally felt hungry for lunch. Could eat a little more which felt really good. But the bloating worsened again that evening. I didn't want to keep relying on gaviscon for the bloating so I am tolerating the discomfort until the next gastric attacks.
My plan for the symptoms - going to visit my TCM doc as usual. Hopefully she can have some remedy for it. Else I will wait til my first scan and doctor's visit on 26 Mar for more advice.
Saturday, 15 March 2014
17dp2dt: Vengence against the pee stick
Today, I did the silliest thing ever, but I had a great time doing it; giggling and smiling all the way through.
Hubby and I are married for more than 6 years. For the 1st year, he suddenly told me that he didn't want to have kids. I totally felt cheated cos that was not the plan that we had been discussing about. But he finally relented after 1 year.
For the following 5 years and 4 months, we have been on this TTC journey. We tried almost everything and one of the most direct forward method was using ovulation strips. I have bought countless of ovulation strips and lost count of the number of times I peed on a pregnancy test kit. The ovulation strips were particularly challenging. The cheaper ones require you to compare the colour of the lines. Sometimes, I would even imagine that that there was a faint line. I eventually gave up and bought the expensive digital type. It would show a smiley face if ovulation is near. But It was always negative. I tried at least 40-50 of those expensive ovulation kits and never once did it show a successful result.
So I am going to break this curse. Even though the blood test result is out, I still decided to pee on the stick. And yes, as expected, there it was. It obediently indicated 'pregnant'. Finally, I have won over the pee stick! Wahahahah! *Evil laughter* Revenge taken.
Symptoms wise, I am starting to feel very bloated. I didn't have a good nights' sleep cos of the bloated tummy. Somehow, there wasn't a sleeping position that felt right and comfortable. The feeling of nausea is also getting stronger and I am trying my best not to vomit. Right now, I am trying to have small meals every 2 hours. Hopefully that will help. While I envy those whose bodies are able to handle the symptoms better, but there is also a thankful voice in my head. As long as my beanies grow well, I will try my best to survive through these discomfort.
Hubby and I are married for more than 6 years. For the 1st year, he suddenly told me that he didn't want to have kids. I totally felt cheated cos that was not the plan that we had been discussing about. But he finally relented after 1 year.
For the following 5 years and 4 months, we have been on this TTC journey. We tried almost everything and one of the most direct forward method was using ovulation strips. I have bought countless of ovulation strips and lost count of the number of times I peed on a pregnancy test kit. The ovulation strips were particularly challenging. The cheaper ones require you to compare the colour of the lines. Sometimes, I would even imagine that that there was a faint line. I eventually gave up and bought the expensive digital type. It would show a smiley face if ovulation is near. But It was always negative. I tried at least 40-50 of those expensive ovulation kits and never once did it show a successful result.
So I am going to break this curse. Even though the blood test result is out, I still decided to pee on the stick. And yes, as expected, there it was. It obediently indicated 'pregnant'. Finally, I have won over the pee stick! Wahahahah! *Evil laughter* Revenge taken.
Friday, 14 March 2014
16dp2dt: Happy Friday Again + Praise and Glory to God
Today is Blood Test Day! Woke up real early this morning and headed to the IVF clinic for the blood test. Took a whole hour to reach the clinic because of the morning peak hour traffic. Gave me a real bad case of nausea cos of the stopping and jerking. Finally reached the clinic at 8am.
The nurse finished the blood extraction in less than 5mins and it is done. Time to head home and wait for the call. The call came at 10.45am. It IS A BFP!!!! Coincidentally, my hubby is working from home on some urgent assignment. He possibly overhead the conversation and guessed the positive news. He took my hand and gave it a good shake, turned about and went back to his room to continue working on the laptop. Such an anti-climax. Hahaha!
All is good finally. The hcg level is a high 600. My mom broke down crying while my dad called immediately to offer his congratulations. It is mixed feelings for me cos my parents are unlikely able to stay with me due to certain situation. I would really wish for my mom to look after me until I give birth. After all, who can beat your own mother's love for you. But it would possibly be asking too much out of the current situation.
THANK YOU MOM!
I don't know how I am going to handle the pain of them moving away. I will miss her care and concern. Throughout this journey, she has worked the hardest. She would always check with me the day before and cook what I want to eat. Everything is freshly cooked cos overnight food is not healthy. She wakes up 4-5am to prepare my breakfast and lunch and bring me a warm glass of milk at 6.30am. She then heads off the work and comes home about 3pm, in time to bring me teatime snack. She starts cleaning the house, vacuuming, mopping, washing and ironing. Home-cooked dinner is served at 6pm and I get supper at 11pm before we head off the bed. The meals are so frequent cos I can't eat much and it helps to prevent gastric.
She is also my nurse, accompanying me to all my scans and appointments (while trying to manage her shift work). And she administers all my injections, often breaking out in cold sweat while doing it cos it is so stressful. She is the greatest contributor behind this BFP. Thank You Mom!
But all is in God's hand and his plans. Maybe God wants to lighten her burden and let her to rest a little more. Maybe God will give her the opportunity to continue being with us. Let's pray for faith and trust in his plans. Amen.
And praise and glory to the lord for this BFP, because all children are gifts from God. There is only so much the doctor could do. There is only so much we could do. There are many things out of our control and it is him who has made all these possible.
The nurse finished the blood extraction in less than 5mins and it is done. Time to head home and wait for the call. The call came at 10.45am. It IS A BFP!!!! Coincidentally, my hubby is working from home on some urgent assignment. He possibly overhead the conversation and guessed the positive news. He took my hand and gave it a good shake, turned about and went back to his room to continue working on the laptop. Such an anti-climax. Hahaha!
All is good finally. The hcg level is a high 600. My mom broke down crying while my dad called immediately to offer his congratulations. It is mixed feelings for me cos my parents are unlikely able to stay with me due to certain situation. I would really wish for my mom to look after me until I give birth. After all, who can beat your own mother's love for you. But it would possibly be asking too much out of the current situation.
THANK YOU MOM!
I don't know how I am going to handle the pain of them moving away. I will miss her care and concern. Throughout this journey, she has worked the hardest. She would always check with me the day before and cook what I want to eat. Everything is freshly cooked cos overnight food is not healthy. She wakes up 4-5am to prepare my breakfast and lunch and bring me a warm glass of milk at 6.30am. She then heads off the work and comes home about 3pm, in time to bring me teatime snack. She starts cleaning the house, vacuuming, mopping, washing and ironing. Home-cooked dinner is served at 6pm and I get supper at 11pm before we head off the bed. The meals are so frequent cos I can't eat much and it helps to prevent gastric.
She is also my nurse, accompanying me to all my scans and appointments (while trying to manage her shift work). And she administers all my injections, often breaking out in cold sweat while doing it cos it is so stressful. She is the greatest contributor behind this BFP. Thank You Mom!
But all is in God's hand and his plans. Maybe God wants to lighten her burden and let her to rest a little more. Maybe God will give her the opportunity to continue being with us. Let's pray for faith and trust in his plans. Amen.
And praise and glory to the lord for this BFP, because all children are gifts from God. There is only so much the doctor could do. There is only so much we could do. There are many things out of our control and it is him who has made all these possible.
Thursday, 13 March 2014
15dp2dt: Butterflies in the tummy
1 more day to blood test. Yes, can't help but feel very anxious and unsettled. The anxiety mounts with each day, each hour and each minute. The days are starting to feel longer and draggy.
The symptoms so far have been better than expected. The spotting has stopped since Monday. It could have been the lotus root water coupled with my TCM medicine. I visited my TCM doc on Tuesday. She mentioned that the pulse was weak, particularly the womb. She gave medicine to strengthen the womb and stop the spotting. I have been burping a little more since Monday while the cramps seemed to have subsided a little.
Each day, I pray hard. I pray for faith in God's plan, whatever it may be. I pray for bountiful blessing and God's grace to be on us. I pray that God will give us gifts of children. I pray that God is the center of my world, as he continues to guide me. There are 3 songs that I love. The lyric never fails to give me strength and peace, and I hope it does the same for you.
Keeping my fingers and toes crossed for the post tomorrow. BFP BPF BFP BFP BFP!!! With a good level of hcg!
The symptoms so far have been better than expected. The spotting has stopped since Monday. It could have been the lotus root water coupled with my TCM medicine. I visited my TCM doc on Tuesday. She mentioned that the pulse was weak, particularly the womb. She gave medicine to strengthen the womb and stop the spotting. I have been burping a little more since Monday while the cramps seemed to have subsided a little.
Each day, I pray hard. I pray for faith in God's plan, whatever it may be. I pray for bountiful blessing and God's grace to be on us. I pray that God will give us gifts of children. I pray that God is the center of my world, as he continues to guide me. There are 3 songs that I love. The lyric never fails to give me strength and peace, and I hope it does the same for you.
Keeping my fingers and toes crossed for the post tomorrow. BFP BPF BFP BFP BFP!!! With a good level of hcg!
Monday, 10 March 2014
12dp2dt: Praying for unexciting days
4 more days to the blood test results! Excited? Honestly, I don't know. The blood test is not the end. You need a good level of bhcg (above 250 units) to confirm your pregnancy. After that, you continue to worry if your bhcg is doubling every day. And then you wait for your first ultrasound where you hope to see the sac and hear the baby's heartbeat. And then, maybe you can heave a sigh of relief.
Or the blood test can also just give you a direct hit with no signs of implantation. And then you are left feeling down and out with all the unanswered 'whys' in your head.
But I am definitely feeling very very thankful. There has been daily cramping since 7dp2dt. The pain seemed to have intensified a bit more over the last 2 days. Light spotting also started yesterday, but this is a vast improvement from my first cycle. During my first cycle, I was already seeing clots of strawberry jam at this time.
Going to the toilet still scares me but we will have to face reality. But it gives me the opportunity to thank God every time it looks white as snow, and to pray harder when I see anything else. The dice is possibly already cast, we just need to wait for the best time to know the definite outcome.
Anyway, I am starting to drink lotus root water. Just boil lotus root in water and drink it warm. My TCM doc mentioned that it might help with the spotting/bleeding. Of course, rest in bed more, which is what I am doing. Though I am just possibly deluding myself cos sitting upright on the bed is possibly not that helpful.
Or the blood test can also just give you a direct hit with no signs of implantation. And then you are left feeling down and out with all the unanswered 'whys' in your head.
But I am definitely feeling very very thankful. There has been daily cramping since 7dp2dt. The pain seemed to have intensified a bit more over the last 2 days. Light spotting also started yesterday, but this is a vast improvement from my first cycle. During my first cycle, I was already seeing clots of strawberry jam at this time.
Going to the toilet still scares me but we will have to face reality. But it gives me the opportunity to thank God every time it looks white as snow, and to pray harder when I see anything else. The dice is possibly already cast, we just need to wait for the best time to know the definite outcome.
Anyway, I am starting to drink lotus root water. Just boil lotus root in water and drink it warm. My TCM doc mentioned that it might help with the spotting/bleeding. Of course, rest in bed more, which is what I am doing. Though I am just possibly deluding myself cos sitting upright on the bed is possibly not that helpful.
Friday, 7 March 2014
9dp2dt: Happy Friday!
One more week to the blood test! Re-reading my old posts made me realised that I am in a better state now, both physically and mentally. Having sat on the IVF roller-coaster before makes you more aware of the twists and turns. In fact, it gives you a second chance to enjoy the ride a little more, feel the breeze through your hair before the ride comes to a gentle halt.
Emotionally, it is less volatile this time. Yes, I still had a meltdown yesterday. I was lounging on the bed (after enjoying my mom's home-cooked lunch) with music playing in the background as I type away on my laptop. Honestly, it was pure joy and relaxation. And there it was. Because I was feeling so blessed, I suddenly felt a huge fear that this blessing would be taken away. The thoughts spiralled so fast that I was just bawling and shaking uncontrollably on the bed. And suddenly I hear my favourite chorus play and the world stopped spinning. The lyrics goes:
I know who goes before me
I know who stands behind
The God of angel armies is always by my side
The one who reigns forever
He is a friend of mine
The God of angel armies is always by my side
All is fine now. I have returned to my la-la land. As the lyric says it all, there is nothing to fear. If it doesn't work out, we will just try again. In worse case, there is nothing bad being just 2 of us. But of course I am still greedy, praying for that twin pregnancy or even the rare triplets pregnancy to happen. Well, God is generous so why not just ask? And I wanna share this link of this very good article that will help calm your mind =) http://www.trulymind.com/8-things-to-remember-when-everything-goes-wrong/
So Happy Friday everyone!
Emotionally, it is less volatile this time. Yes, I still had a meltdown yesterday. I was lounging on the bed (after enjoying my mom's home-cooked lunch) with music playing in the background as I type away on my laptop. Honestly, it was pure joy and relaxation. And there it was. Because I was feeling so blessed, I suddenly felt a huge fear that this blessing would be taken away. The thoughts spiralled so fast that I was just bawling and shaking uncontrollably on the bed. And suddenly I hear my favourite chorus play and the world stopped spinning. The lyrics goes:
I know who goes before me
I know who stands behind
The God of angel armies is always by my side
The one who reigns forever
He is a friend of mine
The God of angel armies is always by my side
All is fine now. I have returned to my la-la land. As the lyric says it all, there is nothing to fear. If it doesn't work out, we will just try again. In worse case, there is nothing bad being just 2 of us. But of course I am still greedy, praying for that twin pregnancy or even the rare triplets pregnancy to happen. Well, God is generous so why not just ask? And I wanna share this link of this very good article that will help calm your mind =) http://www.trulymind.com/8-things-to-remember-when-everything-goes-wrong/
So Happy Friday everyone!
Thursday, 6 March 2014
Just some funny moments about OHSS
There is nothing funny about OHSS but I did relish some moments 'pretending' to be preggies.
Funny Moment #1: Here's a photo for you all to gasp at. It shows the extent of the bloating, which is almost at its max. The cloth at the tummy is a belly warmer that I got from Daiso to keep the womb warm. I can almost pass this photo off as a 6-month preggie shot!
Funny Moment #2: I walked into 24hr clinic at the IVF clinic. The nurse at the triage asked me immediately, 'Mdm, how many weeks are you and what is wrong?'. I sheepishly whispered, 'IVF bloating, all gas in there'. It was quite a funny moment! Hahaha! That I could even fool a nurse that I am preggies.
Funny Moment #3: I was feeling ill in a crowded train, especially with the jerking and the need to keep balance. I decided to gently nudge the shoulder of this gentlemen, pointed at my tummy and asked for his seat. He sprang up right away and apologised profusely. Well, might as well make good use of my gassy tummy!
Funny Moment #1: Here's a photo for you all to gasp at. It shows the extent of the bloating, which is almost at its max. The cloth at the tummy is a belly warmer that I got from Daiso to keep the womb warm. I can almost pass this photo off as a 6-month preggie shot!
Funny Moment #3: I was feeling ill in a crowded train, especially with the jerking and the need to keep balance. I decided to gently nudge the shoulder of this gentlemen, pointed at my tummy and asked for his seat. He sprang up right away and apologised profusely. Well, might as well make good use of my gassy tummy!
Wednesday, 5 March 2014
Summary Part 3 - So what helped in this cycle vs last cycle
IN TERMS OF EGG NUMBERS AND QUALITY
Higher Dose of Puregon
Resulted in 35 eggs compared to 23 eggs. Possibly this was not part of the plan, but I did get more eggs this round.
Long Protocol versus Short Protocol
Resulted in 17 mature eggs (49%) compared to 9 eggs (39%). Not too much of an increase in terms of percentage but it did help when you look at the absolute numbers.
Saizen
Resulted in 6 good embryos (35%) compared to 1 embryo (11%). A marked increase in successful fertilisation rate. I was personally hoping that I would be happy with 2 good embryos. It is a great blessing and comfort from God to be able to have extra for freezing.
No Pay Leave
I think I was pretty much in a relaxed mode throughout the stimulation phrase and it sure can't be bad for the the eggs to be growing in a worry-free environment filled with daily enjoyment and positivity. Well, it is not something that can be proven but you can't deny that it is the topping on the ice-cream =)
IN TERMS OF SURVIVING OHSS
Immunocal
I don't know if it helps but I started Immunocal earlier this time:
I practically stopped drinking water all together from egg retrieval onwards. Any liquid intake was H20. I felt that H20 was better than 100plus, as the latter was gassy (which adds to the bloat). I also started to dilute my H20 from 3dp2dt cos of a urinary tract infection. So I drank half part H20 with half part water to help with the infection.
Dostinex
This tablet was prescribed by the doctor right after my egg retrieval of 35 eggs. It is supposed to be taken nightly for 8 nights. It did help to reduce the bloating, allowing me to sleep on side most of the nights. In the morning, the bloating would always feel better as it starts to intensify through the day again culminating at its tightest from 5pm onwards.
Because of my OHSS, urinary tract infection and flu, I have not been able to have a specialised diet. Yes, I have stocked up tonnes of black chicken, brazil nuts, red dates, longan, wolfberries in the fridge but none were used.
Today is 7dp2dt. My days are spent in bed, either watching serials or updating my blog on my laptop. I try not to move about so much as there is a lower abdominal cramp happening these 2 days. My utmost task is to drink as much water and get my flu symptoms out of the way.
FYI - my TCM doc told me yesterday that my pulse has almost OK which is excellent news. During my last cycle, she just kept shaking her head and saying the pulse is very weak. Hopefully God will continue to bless my journey, and give me fruits in the womb; children that we will bring up in his name, according to his will. And yes, greedy little me hopes for twinnies! Amen!
Higher Dose of Puregon
Resulted in 35 eggs compared to 23 eggs. Possibly this was not part of the plan, but I did get more eggs this round.
Long Protocol versus Short Protocol
Resulted in 17 mature eggs (49%) compared to 9 eggs (39%). Not too much of an increase in terms of percentage but it did help when you look at the absolute numbers.
Saizen
Resulted in 6 good embryos (35%) compared to 1 embryo (11%). A marked increase in successful fertilisation rate. I was personally hoping that I would be happy with 2 good embryos. It is a great blessing and comfort from God to be able to have extra for freezing.
No Pay Leave
I think I was pretty much in a relaxed mode throughout the stimulation phrase and it sure can't be bad for the the eggs to be growing in a worry-free environment filled with daily enjoyment and positivity. Well, it is not something that can be proven but you can't deny that it is the topping on the ice-cream =)
IN TERMS OF SURVIVING OHSS
Immunocal
I don't know if it helps but I started Immunocal earlier this time:
- 1x a day since 17 Feb which is Day 5 of stimulation
- 2x a day since 19 Feb which is trigger day
- 3x a day since 24 Feb which is egg retrieval day. Stopped only on 3 Mar which is 5dp2dt
I practically stopped drinking water all together from egg retrieval onwards. Any liquid intake was H20. I felt that H20 was better than 100plus, as the latter was gassy (which adds to the bloat). I also started to dilute my H20 from 3dp2dt cos of a urinary tract infection. So I drank half part H20 with half part water to help with the infection.
Dostinex
This tablet was prescribed by the doctor right after my egg retrieval of 35 eggs. It is supposed to be taken nightly for 8 nights. It did help to reduce the bloating, allowing me to sleep on side most of the nights. In the morning, the bloating would always feel better as it starts to intensify through the day again culminating at its tightest from 5pm onwards.
Because of my OHSS, urinary tract infection and flu, I have not been able to have a specialised diet. Yes, I have stocked up tonnes of black chicken, brazil nuts, red dates, longan, wolfberries in the fridge but none were used.
Today is 7dp2dt. My days are spent in bed, either watching serials or updating my blog on my laptop. I try not to move about so much as there is a lower abdominal cramp happening these 2 days. My utmost task is to drink as much water and get my flu symptoms out of the way.
FYI - my TCM doc told me yesterday that my pulse has almost OK which is excellent news. During my last cycle, she just kept shaking her head and saying the pulse is very weak. Hopefully God will continue to bless my journey, and give me fruits in the womb; children that we will bring up in his name, according to his will. And yes, greedy little me hopes for twinnies! Amen!
Summary Part 2 - My Side Effects to Long Protocol
All was fine until 19 Feb 2014 onward, which is about after 7 days of stimulation.
DURING STIMULATION
19-22 Feb 2014 - Bloating started and slowly the gamut of symptoms showed up, consisting of nausea, achy bones, cramps, occasional bouts of gastric.
23 Feb 2014 - Felt a crampy lower abdominal pain every time I pee.
AFTER EGG RETRIEVAL
24/25 Feb 2014 - Bloating worsened after egg retrieval. Nausea and occasional gagging became common.
AFTER EGG TRANSFER
26 Feb 2014 - Bloating intensified after egg transfer. Unable to stomach much food because of the bloating. Very nausea but unable to vomit any substance from tummy. Very little pee. Couldn't sleep that night.
27 Feb 2014 - Bloating continued, resulting in difficulty in walking as there was pain at the abdominal area and cramps at the lower abdominal area. Gastric attack in the morning. Nausea still present and very little pee. Able to sleep on side that night, but woke up every 30mins to burp acidic gas.
28 Feb 2014 - Lesser pain in walking but came down with urinary tract infection. Kept breaking out in cold sweat which could last 1-2 hours. Continued to be nauseous. Tried to drink as much as possible. Pee increased slightly. Able to sleep on side that night with frequent and regular waking up to burp acidic gas.
1 Mar 2014 - Nausea subsided but bloating at its maximum. Couldn't stand up straight as skin was too taut. Bloating so extreme that it was painful to breath while sitting down. Continued to drink more water and pee increased. Went to 24hr IVF clinic and did blood test and urine test. Cleared of OHSS. Was given antacid to reduce the bloating. Able to sleep on side with regular waking up to burp acidic gas.
2 Mar 2014 - Bloating continued. Skin still taut when standing. Drinking and peeing no longer a problem. Able to crave for food but couldn't eat much due to bloating. Appetite continued to be small. Started to have frequent sneezing and running nose. Able to sleep on side and lesser occurrence of acidic gas burping.
3 Mar 2014 - Felt tummy rumble in hunger for the first time this week. Skin still taut when standing. Able to eat more small meals. Running nose and sneezing continued and started to have sore throat. Drinking as much water as possible. Able to sleep almost normally but still waking up for acidic gas burping.
4 Mar 2014 - Bloating seemed to have subsided a little. Skin less taut and able to stand up straight. Sore throat worsened, while running nose had subsided. Starting to feel lower abdominal cramps. Able to sleep normal but waking up twice or trice for acidic gas burping.
I think I am almost recovered from OHSS with some remnants. The OHSS was more intense this time but somehow it felt shorter as well, possibly due to more pre-preparation and help from the IVF clinic. Very glad to have survived it again with the help and grace of God. OHSS is an experience that can literally tear your spirit and gnaw at your soul.
DURING STIMULATION
19-22 Feb 2014 - Bloating started and slowly the gamut of symptoms showed up, consisting of nausea, achy bones, cramps, occasional bouts of gastric.
23 Feb 2014 - Felt a crampy lower abdominal pain every time I pee.
AFTER EGG RETRIEVAL
24/25 Feb 2014 - Bloating worsened after egg retrieval. Nausea and occasional gagging became common.
AFTER EGG TRANSFER
26 Feb 2014 - Bloating intensified after egg transfer. Unable to stomach much food because of the bloating. Very nausea but unable to vomit any substance from tummy. Very little pee. Couldn't sleep that night.
27 Feb 2014 - Bloating continued, resulting in difficulty in walking as there was pain at the abdominal area and cramps at the lower abdominal area. Gastric attack in the morning. Nausea still present and very little pee. Able to sleep on side that night, but woke up every 30mins to burp acidic gas.
28 Feb 2014 - Lesser pain in walking but came down with urinary tract infection. Kept breaking out in cold sweat which could last 1-2 hours. Continued to be nauseous. Tried to drink as much as possible. Pee increased slightly. Able to sleep on side that night with frequent and regular waking up to burp acidic gas.
1 Mar 2014 - Nausea subsided but bloating at its maximum. Couldn't stand up straight as skin was too taut. Bloating so extreme that it was painful to breath while sitting down. Continued to drink more water and pee increased. Went to 24hr IVF clinic and did blood test and urine test. Cleared of OHSS. Was given antacid to reduce the bloating. Able to sleep on side with regular waking up to burp acidic gas.
2 Mar 2014 - Bloating continued. Skin still taut when standing. Drinking and peeing no longer a problem. Able to crave for food but couldn't eat much due to bloating. Appetite continued to be small. Started to have frequent sneezing and running nose. Able to sleep on side and lesser occurrence of acidic gas burping.
3 Mar 2014 - Felt tummy rumble in hunger for the first time this week. Skin still taut when standing. Able to eat more small meals. Running nose and sneezing continued and started to have sore throat. Drinking as much water as possible. Able to sleep almost normally but still waking up for acidic gas burping.
4 Mar 2014 - Bloating seemed to have subsided a little. Skin less taut and able to stand up straight. Sore throat worsened, while running nose had subsided. Starting to feel lower abdominal cramps. Able to sleep normal but waking up twice or trice for acidic gas burping.
I think I am almost recovered from OHSS with some remnants. The OHSS was more intense this time but somehow it felt shorter as well, possibly due to more pre-preparation and help from the IVF clinic. Very glad to have survived it again with the help and grace of God. OHSS is an experience that can literally tear your spirit and gnaw at your soul.
Tuesday, 4 March 2014
Summary Part 1 - The Process of Long Protocol IVF
14 Dec 2013 Stage 1a - Starting on Nor-E
Nor-E is an oral medication that you start taking once your period reports. You can opt to pre-collect this medicine or collect it when your period starts. I opted for the latter in case I misplace the med. Do give the IVF clinic a call just to let them know that you are starting the Nor-E. After 21 days of Nor-E, you just wait for your period to report again.
7 Jan 2014 Stage 1b - Period reports
Give the IVF clinic a call once full flow is here. They will ask you to come down to collect the Lucrin jab medication on Day 21 after your period. Hubby will have to accompany you for this visit as both are needed for a blood test.
28 Jan 2014 Stage 2 - Starting on Lucrin jabs (10units)
You will be given one month's supply of Lucrin. Lucrin jabs are self-administered every morning for 16 days and then you visit the IVF clinic for a blood test and scan. During the 16 days of injections, your period should have reported.
13 Feb 2014 Stage 3a - Adding Puregon jab (200units) and Saizen jab (5units)
Period reported on 13 Feb 2014, the day of my appointment at the IVF clinic. I collected a week's supply on Lucrin, Puregon and Saizen, which are to be self-administered every morning. Next visit is on 20 Feb 2014 for a scan to assess the growth of the follicles.
Starting to feel bloating, nausea, cramps, achy bones, occasional bouts of gastric from 19 Feb 2014 onwards.
Follicles are growing well on 20 Feb 2014 and told to come back the next day for a scan. Continued Lucrin jabs until 22 Feb 2014 while Puregon and Saizen ended on 21 Feb 2014. Trigger shot was given on 22 Feb 2014.
24 Feb 2014 Stage 4 - Egg retrieval
A total of 35 eggs were retrieved. Immediately given 8 days of Dostinex to prepare for oncoming OHSS.
OVERVIEW
Nor-E is an oral medication that you start taking once your period reports. You can opt to pre-collect this medicine or collect it when your period starts. I opted for the latter in case I misplace the med. Do give the IVF clinic a call just to let them know that you are starting the Nor-E. After 21 days of Nor-E, you just wait for your period to report again.
7 Jan 2014 Stage 1b - Period reports
Give the IVF clinic a call once full flow is here. They will ask you to come down to collect the Lucrin jab medication on Day 21 after your period. Hubby will have to accompany you for this visit as both are needed for a blood test.
28 Jan 2014 Stage 2 - Starting on Lucrin jabs (10units)
You will be given one month's supply of Lucrin. Lucrin jabs are self-administered every morning for 16 days and then you visit the IVF clinic for a blood test and scan. During the 16 days of injections, your period should have reported.
13 Feb 2014 Stage 3a - Adding Puregon jab (200units) and Saizen jab (5units)
Period reported on 13 Feb 2014, the day of my appointment at the IVF clinic. I collected a week's supply on Lucrin, Puregon and Saizen, which are to be self-administered every morning. Next visit is on 20 Feb 2014 for a scan to assess the growth of the follicles.
Starting to feel bloating, nausea, cramps, achy bones, occasional bouts of gastric from 19 Feb 2014 onwards.
Follicles are growing well on 20 Feb 2014 and told to come back the next day for a scan. Continued Lucrin jabs until 22 Feb 2014 while Puregon and Saizen ended on 21 Feb 2014. Trigger shot was given on 22 Feb 2014.
24 Feb 2014 Stage 4 - Egg retrieval
A total of 35 eggs were retrieved. Immediately given 8 days of Dostinex to prepare for oncoming OHSS.
OVERVIEW
- 26 DAYS OF INJECTIONS AND 45 INJECTIONS ADMINISTERED
- 35 EGGS RETRIEVED
- 17 EGGS MATURED AND INJECTED WITH A SPERM
- 10 FERTILISED AND 9 MULTIPLIED INTO EMBRYOS
- 6 EMBRYOS WERE ASSESSED TO BE OF GOOD QUALITY
Sunday, 2 March 2014
4dp2dt: Distension and my bloating
Since my last experience with ohss, I had a strong fear of the night. It always felt very long, dark and lonely. It never fails to envelope me with a utter sense of helplessness as I gritted through my pain.
But this time, I didn't have that feeling. Maybe my faith has grown. I always feel that God would be beside me. If I am tired, he will carry me. Yes, at times I still will doubt his love amidst the challenges. But he is surely my light in my darkness.
The symptoms are definitely stronger this round. My bloating is so bad that my skin is totally taut. I can't stand or sit or lie down. Even when I breathe, it hurts.
I had no choice but to visit the 24hr clinic at the IVF clinic last night. My urine test and blood test showed that I am cleared of ohss. Oh my gosh, this is a miracle! This is unbelievable!
The doctor says my condition is called distension and sent me home with 2 bottles of gastric medicine.
Well, the medicine is not so helpful with the distension but at least I can sit today. And I finally felt my first tinge of hunger in 1 week! I still can't eat much cos it adds pressure to the bloating. But at least it is a one step forward. I couldn't be more thankful for his grace!
Saturday, 1 March 2014
3dp2dt: Praise the Lord
I am bloating very very badly. Not only is my tummy rock hard, I could hardly stand straight because of the pain of the stretch. Any morsel of food or drop of drink just serve to make the bloating worse.
I never thought I was able to sleep. I was totally clueless and tried different permutations. They just make me vomit or burp or gag.
Amidst the darkness, it just amplifies my misery and helplessness. All I could do is pray and I kept praying. Suddenly a symbol appeared in my mind which looks like this pointed < bracket. I summoned my course to lie down and tried to keep my body, hands and legs in this shape. It worked!!!! I could snooze off for about 30 - 45mins before having to wake up and burp.
The rest of the night, I just opened my heart and tried to get some guidance on what sleeping positions from God. It was miraculous that the quality of sleep is a really considered good!
But the hardest of the bloating returned in the morning. I called the ivf clinic but their only advice is to drink more water and pee. With this bloating, how am I to drink more water. It is just introducing more air to a bursting balloon.
I never thought I was able to sleep. I was totally clueless and tried different permutations. They just make me vomit or burp or gag.
Amidst the darkness, it just amplifies my misery and helplessness. All I could do is pray and I kept praying. Suddenly a symbol appeared in my mind which looks like this pointed < bracket. I summoned my course to lie down and tried to keep my body, hands and legs in this shape. It worked!!!! I could snooze off for about 30 - 45mins before having to wake up and burp.
The rest of the night, I just opened my heart and tried to get some guidance on what sleeping positions from God. It was miraculous that the quality of sleep is a really considered good!
But the hardest of the bloating returned in the morning. I called the ivf clinic but their only advice is to drink more water and pee. With this bloating, how am I to drink more water. It is just introducing more air to a bursting balloon.
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