12dp2dt: Praying for unexciting days

4 more days to the blood test results!  Excited?  Honestly, I don't know.  The blood test is not the end.  You need a good level of bhcg (above 250 units) to confirm your pregnancy.  After that, you continue to worry if your bhcg is doubling every day.  And then you wait for your first ultrasound where you hope to see the sac and hear the baby's heartbeat.  And then, maybe you can heave a sigh of relief.

Or the blood test can also just give you a direct hit with no signs of implantation.  And then you are left feeling down and out with all the unanswered 'whys' in your head.

But I am definitely feeling very very thankful.  There has been daily cramping since 7dp2dt.  The pain seemed to have intensified a bit more over the last 2 days.  Light spotting also started yesterday, but this is a vast improvement from my first cycle.  During my first cycle, I was already seeing clots of strawberry jam at this time.

Going to the toilet still scares me but we will have to face reality.  But it gives me the opportunity to thank God every time it looks white as snow, and to pray harder when I see anything else.  The dice is possibly already cast, we just need to wait for the best time to know the definite outcome.

Anyway, I am starting to drink lotus root water.  Just boil lotus root in water and drink it warm.  My TCM doc mentioned that it might help with the spotting/bleeding.  Of course, rest in bed more, which is what I am doing.  Though I am just possibly deluding myself cos sitting upright on the bed is possibly not that helpful.