When I hear baby bump news...

I used to be more affected when I hear news of friends' pregnancy.  Being human, it does take a bit more effort to smile and congratulate them.  It is not that I am not happy for them, just that the news tend to make me question once again why my baby journey is harder than most people.

After much effort, I managed to truly congratulate my friends.  I psyched myself to prepare for life without kids; to focus on the benefits of not having kids.  I could sleep late.  I could party the night away.  I could go on holidays whenever I wish.  I could eat sashimi and get drunk on ice cold coke.  I could play mahjong all night.  If a kid comes by, then it is a bonus.  If not, I will just enjoy this freedom while it last. 

But after this IVF journey, the pain of hearing pregnancy news seemed to have come back.  I guess this is an inevitable dilemma.  From psyching myself to focus on the freedom of having no kids to wishing with all my might that we are going to have a family, I now need to re-find my footing again.

This time, I guess it could be easier.  It is not about changing perspectives, not about seeing the cup as half empty or have full.  It is about putting faith and trust in God and his plans, whatever it may be.  It is about accepting whatever plans he has for me.

Sounds easy?  Well, yes and no.  You will always envy the pastures on the other side.  But there is always the power of prayers.  And as long as my loved ones remain happy and healthy, nothing else matters.