Monday, 22 July 2013

Work and IVF - Can they co-exist?

It is a question that has been in my mind. Why this question?  Because I am wondering if I should go for another round of IVF.  My buddy asked me what was holding me back?
  • Was it money? - It wasn't the biggest stumbling block.  With the government subsidies, we practically don't have to fork out any cash if we were to have the IVF done in public hospitals.  We might have to tighten our belts more with only 1 source of income, but it should be something manageable for a short period of time.
  • Was it the fear of the whole procedures? - An itsy bitsy yes, but not the main factor.  As many of us can attest, we are more than willing to go through the pain and emotional roller-coaster again.
  • Was it the fear of another failed IVF? - No, at this moment, this is not even on my mind.  To me, each try is a hope and a chance. 
  • So what was it? - It was work commitments.  How to achieve fairness to the organisation and the teammates, how to arrange for leave again and make time for it without majorly affecting work projects, how to broach the topic to the office again and seek some form of understanding/arrangement etc.
My deepest dilemma - Can women really be able to continue working while going through rounds of IVF.  Honestly, I was really complacent during my 1st round of IVF.  I really thought we would be successful at 1st try.  After all, the doctor said IVF is a very suitable approach for people with PCOS.  My husband's health is good and I am below 35 years old.  Never crossed my mind that I would have to do another round.

So now, I am seriously thinking, with a little longer term perspective.  What if I would need more rounds?  Should I continue to pace it amidst work commitments, and be stretched emotionally and physically on both ends?  Would this kind of stress affect the chance of the IVF?  Should I take the bold step of resigning and focusing on IVF plans?  If IVF plans really succeed, then the bigger question is who would hire a preggie person?

What are your thoughts on this?  The good thing is it is not something that I have to decide today or tomorrow or next month.  Hopefully, the path would become clearer soon.
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6 comments:

  1. Lin22 July 2013 at 18:02

    hi there, i'm from smh.. just to voice my views.

    if u have a supportive boss, then ivf and work can co exist.

    if ur work commitment is v heavy, and boss cannot give u time off, then its a no.

    but again, if u quit, there is also no gaurantee for success in ivf...

    i think if u can take npl, its the best.... if u quit, u have to think of hw u will handle ur emotions and future plans if ivf is not successful...

    weigh pros and cons..... also, if u like yr job, its a pity to quit..

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  2. asecondchance22 July 2013 at 22:19

    Are you able to take no pay leave for half a year?
    As for me I am still coping with work and ivf. I took time off and my own annual leave for appointment and procedure. Occasionally if timing cannot meet, I will take MC. Luckily I have a very good and lenient boss. If financially you are ok, you can quit but will you have nothing to do and obsess with this ttc thingy? for me I will go crazy staying at home obsessing my symptoms.

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  3. C23 July 2013 at 09:16

    For me, i've tried going thru one fresh & one FET while working. Just failed my FET. And I think it's time for me to take no pay leave as it's impossible to fit so many scans, dr visits, procedures into my work schedule. However, I'll need to wait for half a yr b4 i could take npl. Hope my boss is compassionate enough to grant me npl.

    Can I link your blog to my blog and invite you to read my blog (not up to date yet), dots?

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    Replies
    1. Circles24 July 2013 at 10:36

      Yes yes, please link my blog to yours. Do let me know your blog address and I will link it to mine. I also like reading other sisters' blog to learn more and motivate each other.

      Delete
  4. Lin23 July 2013 at 17:39

    actually, if u are not working also doesnt mean u have to be so obessed with ttc de. not working means u have to be relaz.. the purpose of not working is in the hope of not stressing ur body too much with work burden and demanding boss, and most importantly is to enjoy the time u have in ur hands to enjoy the things that u would like to do, but has been too busy while at work. it can be spending time with your family, reading a book/comics, watching dramas, doing research online, or even going for courses.

    however, as i said, not working doesnt mean u will definitely have a bfp. i have sisters who stop work and also bfn, including myself. for this, u have to manage yr own expectations.

    if u really stop work, u have to find something else to fill yr life eg, freelance, online biz, attend courses etc.. life is not just abt ttc! sometimes resting is so that u can walk a longer road ahead!

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  5. Circles24 July 2013 at 11:31

    Thanks all for your advice. It is really a difficult choice. I will possibly explore the various options. In my case, my office is very understanding but work commitments and stress levels are high. So I do feel feeling very guilty during my IVF journey that my colleagues are carrying my load.

    I am considering NPL, but company is going through restructuring/merging from late 2013/early 2014. Not too sure if the request would be approved.

    Looking back, I have been working non-stop for the last 10 years without really taking a break. I do go on holidays, but I haven't thought about what I want to do, where my priorities are and what are my next steps. I have just been living one day at a time, for the people around me. I just read a quote yesterday 'If people is happy with you, then surely you have made many compromises in your life'. Time for ME-time. Hahaha!

    ReplyDelete

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